The Women

Girls, if you want to look hot, take some tips from the locals.

Heels: learn to strut in them. The girls here have the model strut down perfectly. You know, where the feet always move forward of the body. I don’t know how they do it. But I know it looks bloody good. And sometimes I’m checking out a nice walk and realize she’s in flat sandals – impressive.

Moving up from the feet: pour yourself into some painted on pants. But please, no muffin tops! In general these girls have all the right curves in the right places. Now I’m not sure if a starvation diet has anything to do with how skinny they are. Conclusion – it’s either the jeans or the genes.

And the faces. Strangely they are not actually pretty, yet they are very attractive in a somewhat sad why. Do you know what I mean? Heavy sunken eyes rimmed with dark skin; long drawn noses and a mouth that seems to host a permanent pout that adds up to a resigned air of sullen dissatisfaction that kind of makes you want to try your damnedest to relieve.

However the Portuguese are a very moralistic society. Distinctly different from their Spanish cousins. I’ve been told not to bother with the local girls; their legs are too tightly closed and take too much work. Well, we’ll just see what happens. I may not even find the time to chase skirts.

[Amendment: a met a couple of lovely kiter chicks on holiday for the week. That I certainly did bother chasing]